Though I was sad to leave home and move so far away from friends and family, at least we relocated to a popular vacation spot so people have plenty of reasons to come and visit. It is safe to say that we have now had our share of house guests and we have learned a lot about what goes into making it an enjoyable experience.
We really value the time we have with our family and friends when they come out, because it provides for so much togetherness. When we used to live in the same town, we might hang out for a few hours tops, but when they come out here we get spend endless quality time, including several nights worth of sleepovers! When people are on vacation they stay up late, drink and eat a lot of food that’s bad for you, because that’s what is so much fun about being away. We, of course, join in as well ,so you can imagine what we looked like after our first year living in LA with visitors coming each month! For obvious reasons, we don’t really do that anymore.
This brings me to my first point. To be a good house guest you must understand that your hosts are not on vacation too. They probably have jobs that they still need to go to during the day, and possibly activities to take their children to in the evenings. They can’t possibly stay up late every night with you or they will be completely exhausted. It’s a great idea to rent your own car if you are able to. This way you are not at the mercy of your host’s schedule to drive you around. This understanding is also important, because your hosts cannot spend money like they are on vacation either. This means you can’t expect them to join you for every dinner out, or to attend every event or amusement park attraction you want to go to. Do understand that they wish they could though, and sometimes seeing you have so much fun might make them a little bitter that they don’t have more time off!
You might consider your hosts to be experts on the city they live in, but doing your own research before you go is definitely advantageous. This will help you determine what types of activities you will be interested in doing once you get there and help you know how to pack. There have been many times that our guests have discovered something that I didn’t know existed in our own city and because of their research we got to experience something new.
As hosts, we do like to prepare some surprises for our guests, so another very important suggestion is to be a good sport, not ask too many questions, and just let the fun happen. One year we took my parents to Disneyland with the kids and we sent my parents on a shuttle telling them it was for a private tour that we had seen many times before so we would just see them when it was over. The truth of the matter was …. the shuttle was taking them to prepare to be in the parade! This was a few years ago when the parade featured guests from the park mixed in with the main acts. Had they asked too many questions, they would have missed out on what turned out to be one their number 1 lifetime memories!
We like our house guests to feel at home, and I suggest most hosts would feel the same way. For this reason I’d like you to know that after the first day, you can really stop asking for drinks and just help yourself from the fridge. To help you feel more comfortable doing that I would suggest you chip in on groceries. This is a polite thing to do anyway, because you are saving money on your vacation by staying with someone else, so they shouldn’t get stuck with higher expenses when they are buying extra for you. You’ll be sure to get invited back again if you cook a special meal one night!
There is a debatable topic related to visiting travellers that I have been getting more and more serious about, but would love to hear the opinion of others. What is the proper etiquette for a guest who is sick? We have had a few occasions where our house guests have been sick and our whole family ends up getting sick because of it. If you know you are ill before you leave, should you get a hotel instead, until you are better, or is that too extreme? Some of our guests don’t get sick until mid-way through their trip, but the results on our family are the same. I’m tempted to ship out mandatory vitamin packs that all guests must take prior to coming!
Most importantly, throughout your trip, I’d like you to know that if you are my guest, I feel responsible for you having the best vacation and strive for you to believe it was worth using your vacation time to come visit us. For this reason, please be enthusiastic and let us know you are having a good time!
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Jean | DelightfulRepast.com
If I were the prospective house guest and ended up being ill at the start of my trip (especially with something contagious), I would definitely tell my hosts “I’m afraid I’m getting a bit of a cold and so I’m making reservations at a hotel so I don’t pass my germs along to you.” Some people would probably say, “Oh no, come ahead. We have very strong immune systems.” Other people would be extremely grateful for your thoughtfulness.
Brie
I think I would do the same thing if I was the guest Jean! It’s tricky because as a host I would feel really guilty allowing a guest to book a hotel, but at the same time I would really appreciate it.
Dale
We’ve heard some pretty odd stories from our Couchsurfing hosts about the many different ways in which people behave when they’re a guest in their home and I’d like to think we’re nobody’s horror story, thankfully I think we’re in the ‘Good House Guest’ department, though I think over time we’ve certainly got better at it.
This is a great article introduction for people who are just considering staying over with people during their travels.
Brie
I’m so glad you liked the post Dale!
I’d wager to say that if you keep getting invited to stay over, and if your couchsurfing days are still active, then you are definitely in the ‘Good House Guest’ department. I think people would conveniently be ‘busy’ if they didn’t want you there. We actually gave a couple of our friends who were visiting the ‘Best Guest Return Visit Guaranteed Anytime’ award for being so awesome.
I guess one good thing about the difficult guests is that they do make for fun horror stories to share later. I’m chuckling thinking about a couple of those myself!
Janis
As a person who has been a house guest many times, I really do try to not inconvenience my hosts. They are gracious enough to allow me to stay in their home while I am in town. It is a thrill to come back to our hosts after our day’s adventures and share our incredible stories…..they are always so excited and thrilled for us! There are times where our hosts are to able to join in our adventures as well, which is an even bigger thrill! Brie, you have offered some EXCELLENT advice to people who are traveling and staying with friends or family. Remember travelers, your hosts are opening up their home to you and at the same time trying to go about their regular lives and schedules. What ever you can do to to keep things as normal as possible for them will go a long way to being invited back. And if they offer suggestions on where to go, what to eat (I should have tried that white hot chocolate!), or what to do….try it, you may just be pleasantly surprised! I know I have!
Brie
Janis, you sound like an amazing house guest! It’s no wonder you have been one so many times, getting invited back is a sure sign that you enrich the lives of your hosts. Hold no regrets…don’t let the white hot chocolate haunt you!
Kelsey
Thanks for these tips! I plan on being a “guest” through an AirBnB room that I want to book. The room is outside the house and I won’t have access to the owner’s personal living space. Any tips?
Brie
Glad you can make use of these tips Kelsey! It sounds like your AirBnB trip won’t have you being much of an inconvenience at all to your house guests. I would just say to keep an eye out for anything around your grounds that looks like it needs attention. Pick up trash if you see it for example, or pull a couple weeds if you feel like it on your way in each day. Any chance where you can jump in and lend a hand and just be a friendly happy face from a different place that can enrich the lives of your hosts if you are visiting.
Have a great time!
Trish
Hi Brie! Just a comment about guests getting sick before a visit. I just finished hosting a couple that both arrived with full blown cases of the flu. They were not even a little bit careful, coughing all over everything, not washing their hands, etc, and I now have it myself. But here’s the thing. Had these folks simply called ahead and had the courtesy to ask, “We’re contagious, should we get a hotel instead?” I likely would not have been so upset when I came down with it myself. Because though my good manners dictate that my response would have been, “That’s okay. Just come on ahead. We’ll figure out how to handle this together,” it would have changed the dynamic dramatically. Because then, instead of feeling put out that they had selfishly exposed me to their illness, when I caught it I would have had to simply say, “Oh well. I’m the one who told them to come even though they were sick.” It would have effectively made it MY fault instead of THEIR fault and I would not have been so angry. So my advice is to please let your potential host know that you are sick and then if they are gracious enough to invite you anyway, try hard to follow good infection control practices!
Brie
I am so sorry you got sick…that is SO frustrating! I hope you are feeling much better now. It’s very disappointing to hear of guests being so inconsiderate and not taking any measures to protect others from catching what they have. This is something we learn in Kindergarden!
I now keep a stock of hard core immunity boosters and cold/flu treatments in my house and if any of my guests even show signs of illness, I make them load up on it, and then our family takes the immune boosters as well, plus we all gargle with salt water and use a Q-tip to wipe the inside of our noses with salt water as well. I learned that this will help to kill the germs you have inhaled.
I think that for my family, if we are set to travel and stay with friends and we get sick, I’m not even going to give them the option to still host us, I will just book a hotel. I agree with you though…consideration goes a long way and you would not have been so angry if they had approached it properly.